he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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