So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
