She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize