im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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