they need to just BURY HIM!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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