I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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