Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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