i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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