also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
