I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
