we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
