I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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