She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
