Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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