HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
