Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
