we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
