Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
