Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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