Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize