girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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