just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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