Having a random hookup so left but love u
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Randomize
