Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
3 2 1 whiskey
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
