went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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