Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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