Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
