i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
