I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
