just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
is wine microwaveable?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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