but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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