guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
