Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
