Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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