i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize