Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
