THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
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