official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
