I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
