Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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