I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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