just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
