matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You can't special order awesome
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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