D3 body, D1 cock
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
