ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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