Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just want nice things and good sex
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
