This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
