Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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