Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
