Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
