A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We talked him into tasing himself.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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