This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
