The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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