It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
