did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Randomize
