i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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