LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
