i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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