Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
