Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
