Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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