Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize