New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
