dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
